Having not celebrated Mother’s Day for well over a decade and a half I felt that this year I would change that. After many, many years of upset and disappointment, my relationship with my mother broke down. We stopped communicating which in all honesty lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. There was a point where I suffered terribly with stress and stress-related issues that were brought on by constantly being let down and lied to. My periods stopped for well over a year and I used to grind my teeth in my sleep resulting in the need for a mouth guard. After all of these stresses, I had to let the relationship go. It was the best thing I did for my mental health and well being. My stress symptoms eased off pretty rapidly afterwards which helped solidify the decision I had made.
A year ago last June my mum was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer and the prognosis was very poor. She passed away just sixteen months later. She left behind my 94-year-old Nanny and my two sisters who kept in constant contact right up to the end. I chose not to. I already had experienced closure on my relationship and didn’t know her anymore. We hadn’t spoken or seen each other pretty much the whole time and it didn’t feel right for me to visit. When I initially heard about her diagnosis I wrote to her wishing her well and hoped the treatments would be as painless and non-invasive as possible. Little did I know at the time that she would undergo various courses of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and two surgeries.
I may have chosen not to visit her (which was a decision not made lightly may I add) but she was never far from my thoughts. I spent weeks going from pillar to post with my emotions talking it over with friends. Each friend having differing opinions on what I should do but at the end of the day, they stood by my decision as did my family.
This Mothering Sunday was the first since her passing and I wanted to mark the occasion for my family, especially for my Nanny. It must have been a hard day for her but she didn’t show it and seemed to enjoy the fuss we made of her. My sisters Estella and Juliet both travelled down from London to join in the celebrations which couldn’t have been more perfect. Having us all together was a real treat for Nanny.
I was in charge of making lunch. I wanted it to be simple enough to be made in advance but also seem like a feast. So I decided on creating a large spring vegetable and goats cheese frittata as well as various plates of colourful salads. For dessert, we had fresh fruit and homemade cannoli. We drank local rosé wine from Brickhouse Vineyard as well as a rosé from Provance and the vineyard of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. We ate, drank, chatted and laughed. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate.